First things first, your message. I didn't mean to not reply you. It's just that I left my phone in the room and was waching tv in the living room the whole time, mainly because I know some bitches were about to send me messages I didn't want to see. I was tired, of staring into a screen and reading words that cut so deep. At 11plus, I looked at my phone and there were your messages. Cold and distant. Well I'm sorry but that wasn't what I was hoping to see, not from you. After all these time, I still wonder how fragile a friendship can be.
Secondly, your words, pissed the shit out of me. I'm being honest here so forgive me for my bluntness. I, for one, hate it when people say, 'my fault la my fault'. But that's not even the point yet. When you said those words, it cuts, alright? It hurts and I don't think I deserve that from you at this point. I know, that's exactly what I would have done if it were me who messaged you and I can understand where you're coming from, but I was hoping I never have to see a Me, in You. Because if there's anything I hate more than Him in this world, it's me.
Third, the message you sent two nights ago was fine, until That Line. What the hell, do you want from me? I'm so tired, really. Let me off, please. I know what She's going through right now, believe me, don't I know it. But I also know that it's impossible for me to save her anymore. I don't want to hurt me anymore. And I thought you wouldn't want to either. But I think, I was being presumptuous again. I thought you cared, even a little. But it turns out, it was always about Her, right from the beginning. And who's to say you're wrong? You guys have been friends far longer than I've been yours.
Look, I don't want to go on holding back what I've always wanted to say to you. I think it's best you hear it one last time before we stop talking altogether.
I trusted you, you don't know how much I did. I never said it, but that's only because I don't like to express how I feel, it makes me insecure. I thought you could sense without me even saying anything verbally. I still wish I said something earlier. You're not my dream come true, and that is because, even in my wildest dream, I will never expect to find someone that truly understands. I'm too deep to comprehend, far too complicated to solve. But, you're, different. I guess it's because of the fact that I'm so much like you and so different from everybody else.
We're far too alike to get along, I think? That's the only reason I can think of that explains why we've never had a smooth time ever since we started this whole, thing.
To end of, I would like to say I'm sorry. I know, this isn't the goodbye I thought we would have but I guess this is the best and as it seems, only way to end off right now. Well all the best for Os. You'll do well I know.
You were right, I did do satisfactory, results wise. But I'm not happy. For what it's worth, I'll have you know, that at one point of my life, your presence was the only thing that mattered at all. G'night.